Loss

Three weeks ago today, early in the morning, my father in-law passed away. Parkinson’s or Alzheimer’s, or both (medical practicioners can be vague sometimes), took their toll. I read the obituary and two poems at his funeral, one written by my mother in-law to him when he left Utah to get his PHd at the University of Northern Colorado many years ago. The poem carried powerful emotion and I choked up a bit but made it through.

The funeral was well done. The viewing the evening before was a nice celebration of his life. Very well done. The family was very pleased with it all.

A graveside service in Utah was held for family and friends who couldn’t be at the funeral in Colorado. That, too, was very special.

He’ll be greatly missed. He was a wonderful father in-law to me. No different, in my esteem, from my own father.

The Passion

Passion.

The bulk of my family is trapped in a cult and I have been passionate in my efforts to extract them! If you’ve followed my story, you know this cult to be The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I was once trapped, as well. Unlike my trapped family, the Church ejected me.

And I became free.

And my passion burned hot. I would show my family the way out! Free them.

But they don’t want to be out.

In spite of any evidence contrary to Church beliefs and teachings, in spite of historical problems, in spite of current bigotry, they want to believe. They choose this belief system instead of the tons of contrary evidence, in spite of bigotry.

So be it. They can have it.

My passion has been quelled.

But I will remain and be available when those niggling, pesky questions come up. This Age of Information almost guarantees the questions.

Almost.

Eyes wide shut

Humans. Fascinating, aren’t we? I think so. Particularly the human mind.

The human mind is not a computer. It can do math, yes, but what it is, though, is a powerful pattern recognition machine and “crystal ball” with memory, wrapped into a 3 pound mass of convolutions.

Add hormones and emotions and you might get a hot mess. Add cognitive biases and…

Eyes wide shut.

After being excommunicated from the Mormon Church, I spent the next three years pointing out the fallacies of the Church. They are patently obvious to me and very plentiful. To my believing family, not so much.

Faith is an effective blinder. Choosing faith means my family chooses to be blind.

And there’s nothing I can do!

So nothing is what I’ll now do, and not worry about it. I’ll chalk the last three years up to experience.

And that, ultimately, is the hardest thing about my excommunication.